It’s hard to believe judging by the number of members we have on our site, but hardly anyone likes to admit that they have or have had a fuck buddy. Be honest; how many people have you told about this? Anyone?
Don’t worry – you’re not alone. The social stigma attached to the phrase ‘fuck buddy’ or ‘friend with benefits’ is still huge. More and more people have them and the fact that casual sex has been around for centuries would make you think that we would no longer be embarrassed to talk about it.
Yet here we are still too worried about what our friends and family might think of us if they found out we meet up with people sometimes just for sex. As intelligent and supposedly morally advanced beings, we can be really stupid sometimes.
So what to do? Do we carry on treating fuck buddies as something we should never talk about in polite conversation, or do we all grow up a little and actually talk about why we shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about something that happens all the time.
We’re going to discuss this in greater detail in a later post. For now it’s important to examine the reasons behind the embarrassment before we discuss why it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Myth: People think it’s ‘seedy’
What does this actually mean? Age old stereotypes of women being sluts if they sleep around and men being ‘legends’ are out of date and completely unhelpful. Many people – even those engaged in casual sex – tend to treat having a fuck buddy as something they don’t talk about with friends because it’s not really considered ‘proper’.
Fact: It’s natural and human beings have been doing it for centuries
Half the relationship problems that occur in modern society can be attributed to people’s total inability to be honest about their sex life and preferences. Here at f-buddy we do not judge anyone’s sexual activity or preference as long as it doesn’t harm anyone. So why is a large proportion of society so keen to condemn and vilify anyone who admits they like sex and having a fuck buddy, especially if they’re not in a committed long term relationship?
Myth: Higher risk of catching an STD
More sex with multiple partners will inevitably lead to a greater chance of catching something nasty.
Fact: Safe Sex and education greatly reduces the chances of catching an STD
No method is 100% safe, but even when you first have sex with someone on a monogamous basis you should always use a condom and protect yourself. You don’t know how many other people that person may have slept with. Nor they you. Going to a clinic to get a regular health check on a monthly basis is also an excellent way to ensure you keep clean and enjoy a healthy sex life. If you practice safe sex, you can happily engage in having sex with a fuck buddy without worrying so much about the potential risks. Multiple partners make no difference as anyone can catch an STD in either a monogamous committed relationship or a casual sex one.
Myth: You will never be able to hold down a committed relationship
Having a fuck buddy or friend with benefits reduces your chances of finding ‘the one’ or having a steady relationship…is mental conditioning cooked up by society. Worse; it is counterproductive and gives unrealistic expectations over what a relationship should be.
Fact: You are often in a better position to hold down a committed relationship as you have experimented and know what you like and don’t like
Sex is a little like shopping for clothes; you have to try things on before you decide to buy a new outfit. Okay, so the metaphor is a little trite, but it is accurate. Many fuck buddies often go on to long term committed relationships as a result of having sex with different people learning more about themselves and what they like and don’t like. We are not saying you should go out and fuck as many people as possible to find a girlfriend or boyfriend – everyone’s different. What we are saying is that you should not judge or be opposed to the idea of indulging your desires especially if you’re single, as it can help you find what you’re looking for.
Next time, we’ll talk more in depth about why no one should be ashamed or embarrassed to have a fuck buddy.
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