It’s happened to everyone at some point; everyone has an embarrassing tale or 4 to tell about sex. We did a quick survey round the office to see who had the most cringe worthy story to tell and I have to say, some of the tales actually made me clutch my balls in sympathy.
So in the interests of helping you to avoid a potentially embarrassing situation with a fuck buddy we thought we’d share a few cautionary tales. Pay attention f-buddies! Learning now may save your pride later.
And…I’m stuck!
A friend (let’s call her ‘Sarah’ for the sake of anonymity) once got herself into a situation during sex that required an ambulance and lots of laughter from the doctor. She and her partner had been drinking steadily throughout the day and had decided to top it off with a wild sex session at home…that ended up in A&E. Sarah’s vagina had cramped up and her partner found he couldn’t pull out. They were taken into the hospital with her straddling him both naked where an amused doctor administered muscles relaxants to Sarah. About ten minutes later she was able to climb off her partner…and were then questioned by the police about how much they had had to drink and whether or not they had used any drugs.
Sarah advises all couples and fuck buddies to exercise caution over their alcohol consumption before and during sex.
Shower Sex Slip Up
This happened to one of the girls in the office and still makes me wince every time I hear her tell the story. She was having sex with her boyfriend at the time and they moved it into the shower for a bit of extra steam when halfway through he picked her up by the bum, slipped and they both went crashing down onto the floor. She knocked out her front teeth against the shower rail and he broke his tail bone at the base of his bum. They both ended up in A&E. She had to have two crowns and he wasn’t able to sit down properly for nearly 6 months.
If you are going to have sex in the shower, just be sure there’s enough grip on the floor to prevent you both having an accident.
Biting a Brazilian
Virtually every guy fantasises about a totally shaven pussy at some point, but you should be careful what you wish for sometimes…
Another girl in our office once had a full Brazilian wax which she was very happy with and couldn’t wait to show off to her boy toy at the time. However when her boy toy got her naked, he was so excited by the Brazilian that he went down a little too hard on her. He bit her. Not just once, but several times. It was enough to leave bite marks and draw a little blood. She had to go to the hospital to get it treated.
The lesson here ladies is to just be a little cautious in showing off a Brazilian to a new fuck buddy.
Oh…nuts!
Body oils are great sexual stimulators. However as my friend Dave almost fatally found out, they can be fucking dangerous too!
Dave was having sex with a new girlfriend about two months back where she had completely slavered herself up with massage oil as a turn on. Dave went wild licking every inch of skin he could find on her. Two hours later after Dave lost consciousness during sex, his girlfriend had to call 999 and get him to a hospital where doctors discovered that Dave had had a severe allergic reaction to something. When they ran down all the possibilities with his girlfriend it turned out that Dave was allergic to nuts. When questioned further it turned out that Dave hadn’t eaten any nuts…then his girlfriend suddenly thought to check the body oil ingredients…where nut oil was the main ingredient.
Lessons to be learned
There’s not much else to say now except that if you are considering something new with a fuck buddy, just be aware of some of the things that can happen.
Happy fucking!
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