Everyone has fantasies, and I am not talking about dreams of being a wizard or growing up at Hogwarts. Everyone has sexual fantasies, whether they talk about them or not (and this being Britian I expect that “not” is the go to for most folk). We wake up, we brush our teeth, comb our hair, waist anything up to an hour of our lives commuting to a job, and when there spend the day seeming respectable and smart. We all appear “normal” and that is what we are striving for. However underneath that outer exterior of straight laced sensibleness, in the depths of our carnal desires lies our sexual fantasies. Therein lies the images that we imagine whilst in our deepest of wet dreams, and the things we would love to do or have done to us. Here is the key thing, people do not speak of it because they fear being judged, they think people will think less of them, because ultimately they feel it is weird. Here is the news folks – it is normal. I say this again, it is NORMAL.
Everyone has them, including your partner. This is where it starts to get interesting. So if you have some fantasies, your partner has some fantasies, and neither of you are talking about them out of fear of weirding the other person out – you are both missing out on a chance to play with those fantasies.
Your fantasies are gifts
Everyone wants to have a good time in bed, more than that most people want to have the best time in bed. Trying to increase pleasure in the bedroom is something that humans have been exploring for as long as the written word existed. Books have been written about it, TV shows made, even courses created and run for couples. The question of how to do this is one that has plagued people for a long time. Well, your fantasies and your partners fantasies are gifts in this respect. Having a hidden desire (however bizarre) gives you an opportunity to fullfill that desire... and thus harness the power of the pleasure created from that fulfilment. Both you and your partner stand to massively gain from this! So telling your partner about your fantasies are giving her/him a gift that they can then use to help enhance both your pleasures in the bedroom. Equally, your partner opening up about her/his desires is giving you a gift, and if you can bring this across they are much more likely to be able to share this with you.
Go first
Getting your partner to open up is a hard call. Talking about this stuff leaves you open and vulnerable. The best way to create an environment where this can happen, is to go first. If you share your inner most fantasies and open up about your sexual desires, she/he is likely to reciprocate. The law of human reciprocation is a fundamental one, and likely to come into play here.
Try it, you might no WILL like it
So give it a go. Create a safe space and talk to your partner about your fantasies. You may well find those quickly turning from dream to reality – something that I know you will love.
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