Sex doesn't start in the bedroom. It usually happens in the bedroom, but good sex doesn't start in the bedroom. It starts in the minds of the two people that are about to have sex. The anticipation that leads up to the act, the planning, the time that is spent desiring it, wanting it, waiting for it...
The build up is as important to a good session as the session itself. Everyone loves a decent main course, but when you go out for the experience of having dinner, you go out not just to satisfy your carnal desire to consume, but to be able to enjoy the time spent on the eating. There is the choosing of the restaurant, the sitting down and pre chat, the looking over the menu, the ordering of drinks, then three courses of the meal before the meal is done. People enjoy their starters as much as their mains... and they enjoy the desert even more because it was preceded by the starter and the main course. It is the whole experience that they enjoy – not just the quelling of their hunger. If they simply wanted to not be hungry they could have more easily stayed at home and eaten an oven pizza.
Sex is the same. It is not just the act of coming that makes it the amazing experience that everyone desires so much. It is everything in the run up to it that really makes it. It is the anticipation, the wanting of it, the enforced waiting for it, the build up to it.
So how can you enhance this for both yourself and your f-buddy? Play to the anticipation. Rather than focus on the actual act of having sex, make time, effort and head space to think about and take action *doing* the stuff in the run up to the sex. So text your partner the night before assuring them that the following night they are not going to want to go to sleep. Message them again in the morning something with a little tease for the evening. Make sure that they spend the day thinking about what is going to happen that night.
If you meet them in a restaurant or do something before going back to yours/theirs, make sure you flirt. Make lots of physical contact without doing anything, tease them and allow yourself to be teased. The occasional brush of your arm or body against an inappropriate part of their body can do wonders if done then ignored by yourself.
Make sure the run up to the sex has the sub-text of the coming sex planted in it. If you do, you will have a much more electric night for it – which is something that will be good for the both of you.
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