Sex: Who should make the first move?

1 Feb 2014 - 09:00 | Tags: who should initiate sex

There seems to be a stereotypical viewpoint held (and propagated by the mass media) that when it comes to a first kiss or first time having sex together situation, it is the guy who should make the first move. This despite the facts that show women often initiate kissing and sex almost as much if not more then men do.

Is there a rule we should all be following? And if there is, should we be breaking it?

Make the move
From my perspective I have always felt that irrespective of social stereotypes, if you like someone enough to want to have sex with them, then you should make a move. Meaning that if you’re a guy or a girl it shouldn’t matter who makes the first move. I know for a fact that every time I haven’t made a move on a girl because I was nervous or unsure as to whether or not she liked me, I have regretted it. And I’ve regretted it because often I am pretty sure the girl wanted me to make a move on her.

The Sad Social Truth…
…is that in western culture we’ve all been programmed to believe that it is socially acceptable and encouraged that men should make the first move on a woman. It is rare that the woman will make a move if she likes the guy as she has been programmed to believe that she is ‘cheap’ or ‘slutty’ for trying before the guy. Once the guy has made his move (either to kiss or fuck), then societal rules dictate that the woman can then initiate sex and kissing whenever she wants from thereon.

It’s outdated, archaic not to mention pretty fucking stupid.

The Hang Up
Newspapers and mass media really don’t help women’s or men’s dating situations by constantly harping on about guys who hit on women in bars with said women quoting ‘that they find it annoying and sometimes creepy’ only to have another article showing women who complain that not enough guys approach them and they’re sick of being alone. Add to this the constant media humdrum of criticism about men not being ‘man enough’ to approach women in bars and clubs and you have a situation where men are being slowly emasculated and women left unsatisfied.

The Solution
Some of the best sex I ever had was with a girl I dated a few years back. She initiated the first kiss on our date and she did it by going to the toilet before coming back and walking straight up to me and kissing me. No awkwardness, no fuss, no problem. My point here is that it shouldn’t matter if you’re a guy or a girl. If you fancy someone and want to show them you like them, don’t wait for them to make a move. Make a move yourself before it gets too late.

Add new comment