There is a culture of sex shame in the UK and indeed much of the rest of the world too that has taught many of us to fear and be ashamed of our sexuality. It leads people to moralise and judge us that enjoy the pleasures of casual sex under the assumption that no relationship based upon sex could possibly be fulfilling or moral. These moralistic judgements are very troubling for me because I see the harm that they do to people. I myself was affected by these attitudes and it has taken much of my adult life to reprogram myself to realise that sexuality is the most natural and beautiful of human desires. That there is nothing immoral about my love of sex and that sharing that love is a wonderful thing, not something to be ashamed of.
Nonetheless there are still thousands upon thousands of brits that are still suffering sexual repression today and in this post I'd like to share some of the most important lessons that I have learnt that have helped me free my sexuality.
1. Focus on the positive. This is a tip that helps with everything but it has really helped my sex life. I have through focusing on the positives in my life met so many people just because I took the chance to make a connection where I could. So many of the chances I had in the past that I missed were missed because I did not see them as opportunities but as risks to be avoided. As chances to fail rather than chances to succeed that they really were. This also plays into the next top tip I have.
2. Be confident. This is easier said than done but a great way to fake it until you make it is to assume that every person that you are attracted to, either online through F-Buddy or in person is completely attracted to you and wants to rip your clothes off right now. This confident attitude will come across and will foster greater attraction if there is even a little there in the first place. So you will be taking advantage of every opportunity that comes your way. Also the knowledge that they are not interested will let you know that there was nothing more you could do, which will lessen your anxiety.
3. Love yourself. I always come back to this one, but sex is about feeling good, feeling primal, feeling peaceful and there is nothing that fosters that more than someone that loves themselves and is able to share that love. Do not let yourself get negative and beat yourself up over mistakes and problems. Love what you are and the joy that you can bring to the world.
Now get out there and take the world by the scruff of it's neck and win.
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