Don't get cockblocked by your cat

25 Jan 2019 - 08:41 | Tags: getting cockblocked, cockblocked, animal sex issues

It is surprising the number of people that have been cockblocked by their pet. Whether it has been a dog or a bird, these things can happen. They also seem to happen quite a lot with people’s cats believe it or not. You do not want this to happen! It is really easy to prevent, yet many people do not even think to take steps to do so. With that in mind, I would like to talk to you about how to not get cockblocked by your cat. Allow me to start with an example.

Let’s say that you are out of a night. You are in a bar, you see a pretty girl (and you are of the sexual persuasion that you like girls), so you go over and you say hi. You get chatting and you think, “Wey eh, here we go!” You start to flirt a little, while talking you pop a hand on her arm and she likes it. You find an excuse to take her hand, perhaps to lead her to the bar to get another drink. Things are going really well. An hour later you move to another bar where you kiss, then a third place where hands start to explore each other whilst kissing, and it is then that you know it is on. There is a hook up happening here. It may only be a one night stand, or maybe she could become a regular fuck buddy, you are not sure and in that moment it does not matter.


You take her back to yours, leading her by the hand. When you get to the doorstep, before going in you push her against the door and kiss her whilst you are fumbling with the keys. Her hands are running up and down your chest, her lips pulling yours in with hunger, as you get the key into the door and turn it, spilling into the hallway in a tangle of sexual desire, gravity assisting the already unstoppable force of your bodies needs for each other.

You burst into the bedroom, pushing her onto the bed, tearing each others clothes off. Nothing can stop you, this is going to be great. You are going to fuck this woman so hard that she is going to be begging you to be her fuck buddy for time to come… when…

That is when it goes wrong. On the easy end of things, the cat jumps in and just distracts her, breaking the moment. This is easy to salvage. There are many that are not. Such as

  • The cat comes in, she is allergic to cats. She starts sneezing so much that she can not have sex.
  • The cat comes in, she is allergic to cats. Her face swells ups making her look like the elephant man. You no longer want to have sex with her.
  • The cat comes in, she is allergic to cats. Her reaction is so bad you have to call an ambulance as she lies on your bed struggling to breath.
  • The cat comes in, she is allergic to cats. She has an extreme reaction with no epi pen and dies. You become known as the sex murderer.
  • The cat comes in and in a jealous rage pulls its claws and takes her face out.
  • The cat comes in and in a jealous rage pulls its claws and takes your face out – it know that the hussy is just an innocent victim, you are the one that is cheating on it.

How to avoid all of this

When you get in the bedroom, close the door with the cat on the other side. You want pussy, but this pussy is going to spoil everything, so keep it away!

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