As we grow older we get better at nearly everything that we do. When we are first born we can’t even walk, but as adults we are so good at it we never even have to think about walking! There are many things that we master to a high skill level without consciously having to make an effort to get good at it, not just walking. Talking, eating with cutlery, making “niceties” with other people. There are also some things that we can learn to do at a functional level without active effort, but without deciding to get better at them, we rarely make it past the “okay” rating. These include playing sports, doing our jobs, and yes, you guessed it, sex.
We can all have functional sex, and once you have had sex a few times, you start to get better at it. The initial nervousness drops away, you become more confident in both your own body and what you are chosing to do with it. The feels, actions and hormones all become more familiar to you, and as that happens you begin to refine your technique. You start to learn what really works and what doesn’t, and you develop your own personal tastes on what your preferences are. However, without making a decision to want to get good at sex, you will rarely make it past this stage. It does not matter how many hooks ups you have, or the number of fuck buddies you have slept with, unless you are trying to get better, you will simply enjoy it for what it is without advancing your skill level.
Why get better at sex?
There are many things that you will want to do for most of your life, and so it is worth getting good at these things. You are probably going to drive for 40 years, so it is worth spending the effort learning to do it well. You are going to be doing your job to earn money for decades, so getting better at it so you can earn more money makes sense. You are going to want to have sex for a long time, whether you are sleeping with a friend with benefits or you end up in a long term relationship, being good at sex will enhance the time that you spend with that other person for both you and your sexual partner. The rewards that you reap in the long term will be tangible.
So make an effort and get better at sex. Talk to your fuck buddy about what they are enjoying, or things that they think you are doing well. Next time you have a hook up be really sensitive to the other person, and also use it as an opportunity to try new things. Most importantly, always remember to have fun!
Add new comment