F Buddy - Kink

Why Vanilla Sex Works

EdBennett — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 19:20:45 +0000

2 Sep 2015 - 20:20 | Tags: vanilla sex, Kink, bondage, fetish, casual sex, BDSM

"I wish [BDSM folks] would stop referring to me as 'vanilla.' If you're making the case that everyone should be free to do what they like without being judged, why call non-BDSM people a derogatory name that implies they're all prudish bores?" – Anonymous, commenter on Bitch.

You read a lot online and off about vanilla sex vs kinky sex. It seems to me that if you’re not that interested in the more heavy kinky stuff, you get judged for either being a prude or just inexperienced. As you can see from the comment above, I’m not alone in my theory. I’m here to tell you that vanilla sex is okay. I’m here to tell you that vanilla sex is good. I’m here to tell you that vanilla sex is fun! So why do the BDSM Brigade insist on sneering at and dismissing anyone who’s into vanilla sex? It’s especially annoying when you take into account this remark from Andrea Dworkin.

"Those of us who have different notions of eroticism and sensuality are simply dismissed. The pejorative word [being] 'vanilla,' which is ironically, one of the most sensual aromas."

Andrea is right. Vanilla has lasted for a good reason: people like it.

Don’t judge

If you are into BDSM or extremely kinky sex, that’s great! In my view whatever helps you enjoy your time in the bedroom without hurting anyone is fine by me. But if you insist on judging other people by your own sexual standards, then I’m afraid you need to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. People are different and have different ways of enjoying sex. So what if I don’t like being tied up and hung from a ceiling? At least I can have an orgasm without the need for dozens of chains, whips, bull gags and ropes. You see how the insults can work both ways?

So to the BDSM groupies I have one message for you; what you do is great! I admire it and I respect you for it. But please remember that not everyone is like you and ‘vanilla sex’ is more enjoyable for some people then kinky sex.

10 Most Common Sexual Fantasies in 2015

EdBennett — Fri, 10 Jul 2015 09:51:44 +0000

10 Jul 2015 - 10:51 | Tags: sex fantasy, fantasies, sexual fantasies, Kink, roleplay

Sexual fantasies differ from men to women. Some people like the idea of doing it in a toilet. Others fantasise about having sex with their friend’s hot mum. Patterns can be found amongst the fantasies with men and women both having a lot of fantasies in common. Sexual fantasies have received a lot of negative press in the past few years, but this is because a lot of the mainstream media believe that these are happening all the time. They obviously forgot what the word fantasy actually means.

We’re going to list the top 5 fantasies for men and the top 5 fantasies for women surveyed this year and discuss a few of the more salient points at the end.

For Women

1. Domination – Her Dominating You
This has become very popular in recent months with 87% of women fantasising about this
2. Domination – You Dominating Her
Blame metro-sexuality for this, as it turns out 95% of women want their man to dominate them in the bedroom with a return to equality outside the sheets.
3. Spanking – The Teacher Fantasy Lives on
Sex with a hot teacher isn’t just for the guys. 82% of women fantasise about dressing up as a schoolgirl and having their hot male teacher bend them over his knee and spank them till they scream with pleasure.
4. Sex with a Stranger
No-strings-attached sex is something that many women wouldn’t have the chutzpah to go through with, but that doesn’t mean that 94% of them fantasise about it.
5. Threesome with another woman
“Hallelujah!” I hear most men cry. Sex with you and another woman is something that 97% of women fantasise about.

For Him

1. Domination – She’s the Boss
Good thing that women fantasise about this too as this turns on 91% of men
2. Oral Sex
It’s hardly surprising that 97% of men fantasise about their partners doing things they don’t usually do. Oral sex is top of the list with many men reporting that sometimes they just want the woman to unzip their flies and go to town on their cock.
3. Threesome with another woman
Hooray! That’s another fantasy 99% of men have in common with women.
4. Anal Sex
It’s tight, the arse looks amazing and properly lubed it’s a real turn on for 85% of men.
5. What they aren’t getting
One of the most common fantasies men have was about doing something or having something they don’t have access to. Anal sex, sex with a porn star, sex with a stranger…all are commonalities.

What does this tell us?

Men and women have surprisingly similar sexual fantasies. Threesomes and no strings sex with a stranger are right up there as common fantasies. F-Buddy is the perfect place to explore these fantasies in a safe and secure environment. Message a few people and see if you can find someone who’s willing to indulge in a bit of fantasy. You could very well strike gold!

Safe & Sexy S&M

jeni — Sat, 14 Sep 2013 08:00:00 +0000

14 Sep 2013 - 09:00 | Tags: Kink, Safe S&M

The S&M scene is heating up as the summer draws to a close (technically summer was officially over last weekend but you wouldn’t think that considering the temperatures the UK has had over the past week). Fetish shops, Kinky parties and BDSM workshops are in full flow attracting both newbies and veterans alike.

Whatever your pleasure there is always some important safety tips you need to remember in order to get the most out of your experience. Follow them and you can be guaranteed no mishaps and some seriously pleasurable sex.

Top Safety Tips from the Experts

1. Learn to be comfortable saying ‘No’
Esinem a renowned Japanese Rope bondage expert who travels the world teaching the art and application of Japanese Rope Tying always teaches his classes to say ‘no’ when something becomes uncomfortable or painful. You must learn to say ‘no’ to prevent any injuries or emotional distress.

2. Learn as the other party to be comfortable when someone says ‘No’
This goes hand in hand with the first tip and is quoted by Kitty Stryker – a sex worker and performer. Stryker is keen to highlight that if someone has said ‘no’ and the other person says something like ‘Aww! That’s okay!’ this implies that it is not okay. If someone has said ‘no’ then a good response would be to say something like ‘I’m glad and thankful that you take care of yourself’. This is nice and indicates to the other person that you respect their decision and body.

3. If you fuck up, own up
Many BDSM experts admit that at some point they have broken consent with a partner. Whereas the undisciplined and amoral pressure their partners to keep quiet about it, the truly decent ones own up and admit when they’ve made a mistake. If you take things too far, admit you made a total fuck up afterward. Trying to hide a mistake is cowardly and nasty. Don’t do it.

4. It’s not a challenge or a tick list
Kink and BDSM in general is not something that you should consider goal orientated. You should not be making a list of things you have to try and do. It is something that you should play with and learn naturally what you like and don’t like. Do not pressure a partner to do something just because you want to tick it off your list. Don’t even have a list!

5. Talk about sex after the encounter
Not every BDSM encounter ends with sex, but the ones that do can often lead to a silence amongst many newbies. It’s important to talk about sex after you’ve had it. This allows both parties to ask questions like ‘Did you like it when I did this?’ and ‘You were screaming in pain at this point? Did you want me to stop or carry on?’ Good communication is key to a great BDSM encounter.

For more information…
There are a number of different resources online where you can found out more about the kink and BDSM community and the various rules and safety tips they all recommend. We have included the top ones that nearly every community advocates but we do suggest looking deeper into the community if you want to get more involved.

Happy fucking!