Why waiting till the 5th date for sex is dicing with death

EdBennett — Wed, 12 Apr 2017 17:37:36 +0000

12 Apr 2017 - 18:37 | Tags: how long to wait for sex, who should initiate sex

Everyone has different timescales about how quickly they will or will not sleep with someone. Some people will have sex on the first date without thought, others will want to be married in a church before even considering having sex with the other person. There are extremes on both sides, and everyone is different. I think it is important to be really non judgemental about this, whatever you want is okay, there is no right and wrong with this. However one of the things affecting this is the combination of how quickly you are willing to have sex, and how quickly the other person is willing to have sex. If one person is a first date sex guy, and the girl a 4th date sex person, it is likely that you may meet at the 3rd date instead (note that it does generally favour the girl with these things. I make no comment as to why, but it does seem that way).

How waiting affects things

The wait time can really affect things. If one person is a sex on the first date, and the other person wants to wait for months before having sex, the relationship between the two of them is unlikely to last long enough for them to sleep together. One of them will lose interest far too soon for the other persons timescales, it is a simple as that. It doesn’t matter how sexually compatible you are, you will never find out!

Why 5 days is dicing with death

Whether you are seeing someone with a view to having a relationship with them, or you are just looking for a fuck buddy, 5 days really is dicing with death in both cases. Let me take them one by one.

Fuck-buddy dating: If you are looking for a fuck buddy and you wait 5 days, I guarantee that they will lose interest and leave. If they are looking for a casual relationship, they are not going to be willing to wait that long, and you will lose them. It is dead.

Relationship: If you are looking for a relationship and the connection is building between the two of you, by the time you get to 5th day the connection is strong. If you then have sex and realise that you are sexually incompatible you are already too invested! If you then break up with them immediately because the sex is bad, this makes you a terrible person and most people would not be able to do it. You are risking it all on the fact that the sex will be good – but there is no way of knowing!

Just remember, you are playing with fire the longer you wait.

Sex: Who should make the first move?

EdBennett — Sat, 01 Feb 2014 09:00:00 +0000

1 Feb 2014 - 09:00 | Tags: who should initiate sex

There seems to be a stereotypical viewpoint held (and propagated by the mass media) that when it comes to a first kiss or first time having sex together situation, it is the guy who should make the first move. This despite the facts that show women often initiate kissing and sex almost as much if not more then men do.

Is there a rule we should all be following? And if there is, should we be breaking it?

Make the move
From my perspective I have always felt that irrespective of social stereotypes, if you like someone enough to want to have sex with them, then you should make a move. Meaning that if you’re a guy or a girl it shouldn’t matter who makes the first move. I know for a fact that every time I haven’t made a move on a girl because I was nervous or unsure as to whether or not she liked me, I have regretted it. And I’ve regretted it because often I am pretty sure the girl wanted me to make a move on her.

The Sad Social Truth…
…is that in western culture we’ve all been programmed to believe that it is socially acceptable and encouraged that men should make the first move on a woman. It is rare that the woman will make a move if she likes the guy as she has been programmed to believe that she is ‘cheap’ or ‘slutty’ for trying before the guy. Once the guy has made his move (either to kiss or fuck), then societal rules dictate that the woman can then initiate sex and kissing whenever she wants from thereon.

It’s outdated, archaic not to mention pretty fucking stupid.

The Hang Up
Newspapers and mass media really don’t help women’s or men’s dating situations by constantly harping on about guys who hit on women in bars with said women quoting ‘that they find it annoying and sometimes creepy’ only to have another article showing women who complain that not enough guys approach them and they’re sick of being alone. Add to this the constant media humdrum of criticism about men not being ‘man enough’ to approach women in bars and clubs and you have a situation where men are being slowly emasculated and women left unsatisfied.

The Solution
Some of the best sex I ever had was with a girl I dated a few years back. She initiated the first kiss on our date and she did it by going to the toilet before coming back and walking straight up to me and kissing me. No awkwardness, no fuss, no problem. My point here is that it shouldn’t matter if you’re a guy or a girl. If you fancy someone and want to show them you like them, don’t wait for them to make a move. Make a move yourself before it gets too late.

F Buddy - who should initiate sex

Why waiting till the 5th date for sex is dicing with death

How waiting affects things

Why 5 days is dicing with death

Sex: Who should make the first move?