F Buddy - guys not getting the casual sex is their own fault

Seek sex, and you will find

EdBennett — Mon, 28 May 2018 14:48:04 +0000

In life they say seek, and you will find. Sure, this works when you are looking for groceries, or a light. Does this really work for sex? In short, yes. Yes it does. If you can accept that, then you can stop reading this now and go get laid. If you need a little more convincing, then read on and I’ll explain this in a little more detail.

We see what we look for

Try an experiment. Have a look around the room. Go on, try it right. Take 30 seconds to look at where you are right now. Done? Now close your eyes and count in your mind the number of red things you can think of. NO CHEATING! Do it now!!! Done? Okay, how many did you get? Now look around the room and count how many red things there are around you. There are a lot more than you thought right? This is because your mind looks for that which we tell it to. Now that you are looking for red things, you notice more of them, but before you were looking for them, you saw hardly any of them. This is the way that it works. Have you ever decided to buy a motorbike, and suddenly all you can see is motorbikes everywhere? The number of bikes on the road have not increased, but now that your brain knows that this is what you are looking for, you are more attuned to be able to find it.

Recognise that you want sex, and you will see ways to get it

The same works for getting laid. If you can recognise that you want to get laid, then you will start to notice people that you can sleep with everywhere that you go. The greater the number of opportunites you can see, the more likely you are to be able to make something happen. Finding a fuck buddy or getting a hook up is a numbers game. You have to be willing to try and hit on a lot more people than you want to sleep with in order to make it work. It’s just the way it is. Maybe people in the movies sleep with everyone that they want to, but that is simply not the way that works in real life.

Embrace it

You have to really embrace it to make it work. Know that you want sex, and you will increase your chances of finding it. Seek sex, and you will find.

Winners have sex – is it really the case?

EdBennett — Mon, 20 Jun 2016 10:25:43 +0000

20 Jun 2016 - 11:25 | Tags: sex and money, guys not getting the casual sex is their own fault, getting laid

There is a huge connection between being a “winner” and getting laid. We all know this to be true, and in fact a surprisingly large proportion of our society is actually based around this fact. Whether our world is set up to drive the connection between winning and getting laid, or if indeed getting laid and winner have always been connected and our community moulded itself around this after the fact is something that I cannot answer in this article. All I can talk about it how it effects us NOW – which is frankly also the more useful thing to cover.

There are some exceptions of course, but for most of us if we had no job, no money, just spent our time lying around watching Netflix and doing no actual work at all, most people would look on us as losers. We would be looked down upon, people would think us useless and worthy of no respect for our life choices. We certainly would have trouble getting laid!

Take the opposite now. Someone has a high flying all consuming city job. They rise at 6am – get in a suit and work 12 hour days. They make a ton of money, drive a flash car, eat at expensive restaurants and spend without considering the costs (as to them the cost is minimal). They spend little to no time with their friends and families, their lives are consumed by the rat race. Now that person IS getting laid a lot – or so we are told. They are seen as desirable, attractive, a person that is a “catch”. They are “winners” and they get sex.

This is what we are told, and this is the way that our world is structured. It is set up to try and reward the productive working drones and punish those that contribute nothing. On the face of it this is true, and most people agree that the above is true. That “winning” gets you laid. I would like to point out one (and only one) simple flaw in this.

The person with the 12 hour working day has no time to spend his money. He doesn’t have the space to capitalise in on it and enjoy a high quality of life!

The person with no job may have no money, but so much if free these days he can have a really high quality of day to day life and enjoyment that he doesn’t need the money. He also has the time to get laid! The other guy doesn’t – but this guy does.

So this begs the question – are the winners really getting laid more that the other guys, or are they just doing it less but in more expensive beds?

Keep it clean – to make things dirty!

EdBennett — Sat, 28 May 2016 09:53:29 +0000

28 May 2016 - 10:53 | Tags: guys not getting the casual sex is their own fault, pulling, sex stories

So you have had a really good night out. You went out with some mates for a few drinks after work. It was going to be one of those quick spontaneous after work drinks – but it quickly turns into one of those nights when nothing really happens but everything goes down. One drink turned into two turned into going to another bar in the area. This became a random encounter with a group of the opposite sex also on a night out, groups merged and suddenly you find yourself talking to someone that actually you really quite fancy. You are not sure how much of that is the alcohol talking and how much is that you really do like them, hard to tell as you are already feeling rather tipsy and you know it, but by this stage you really don’t care any more... so you go and order a round of Tequila shots (because they make you happy) and you decide not to worry too much about it.

The next thing you know you are stumbling into a club with a girl on either arm and your mates behind you. How you grew from a group of 5 guys to suddenly there being 12 of you and a hen do in tow you have no idea, but it is all going swimmingly and you are not going to question your good luck!

You are now stumbling towards the kabab place, the young blond thing that you really liked from the start in that first pub is suddenly somehow under your arm. You are pretty sure that you kissed her earlier – at least you hope it was her. You certainly kissed someone – there is lipstick on your collar!

You fumble for the keys whilst the cute blond girl giggles as she hangs off your arm in anticipation. You both know where this is going and you are both about to win here...

...and that’s when it goes wrong. You take her into your place, to your room, and the place is a tip. Clothes are stewn all over the floor, old pizza boxes are piled in a corner, a mound of glasses and mugs where you haven’t gotten around to washing them in the kitchen yet are piled high on the bedside table, and there is a funny smell in the air from something growing somewhere. You see the look of disgust on her face and thats when you know your night of unstoppable power has just ended.

Keep your room clean guys, because without it being clean to begin with, you will never have the chance to make it dirty.

Guys responsible for not getting the casual sex they want

EdBennett — Wed, 05 Feb 2014 18:20:13 +0000

5 Feb 2014 - 18:20 | Tags: guys not getting the casual sex is their own fault

Way back in 1989, a couple of casual sex researchers in the US conducted a study revealing that 70% of men would agree to having sex with a stranger as opposed to 0% of women. We know from experience that the 0% statistic from women is simply not the case. What the study highlighted was two things:

1. The social stigma that still exists denoting women who indulge in casual sex as ‘slutty’
2. The propagation of that social stigma by men who joke around together calling women who engage in casual sex as ‘sluts’

A recent review of the study in 2011 and 2012 also revealed that when it comes to engaging in casual sex, there are no differences between men and women when you control for two factors: pleasure and stigma. Both men and women enjoy sex immensely…indeed women probably gain more enjoyment then men due to their heightened sensitivity and physical sexual ability. So logically both sexes should be happily enjoying full and rich sex lives. The unfortunate reality though is that by and large people are judged harshly by society when engaging in casual sex. And women are often judged even more harshly then men by society which is plain wrong and damaging.

Both sexes want to enjoy equal amounts of casual sex but men often shoot themselves in the foot by chatting and bragging about how many women they have slept with on a regular basis.

Men are responsible
Guys, be honest with yourselves; how often have you gone out with your mates and bragged about the women you’ve met randomly in a club or a bar and slept with once or twice before moving onto the next girl? Chances are it is a lot. Now listen up; because of the unhealthy stigma that still exists around women and casual sex, every time you brag and go on record you are effectively damaging yours and others chances of convincing women to have casual sex with you.

Women will not engage in casual sex often because of this stigma (that guys propagate stupidly) and also because they might believe that the sex will not bring the perceived amount of pleasure they want. In other words they don’t believe a stranger they have just met in a bar or club will give them the required amount of pleasure they crave.

Stop the stigma? STOP THE BRAGGING & NAMECALLING!
Yes it’s great when you get laid, yes you feel like the King of the World, but if you want to have more sex do yourselves a favour; stop bragging about your conquests and stop taking the piss out of women who engage in it classing them as ‘slutty’ or ‘easy’. We’re all ‘easy’ when it comes to sex…so stop spoiling it for everyone!