F Buddy - dirty talk

Understand your fuck buddy: why sex is harder to talk about in this era

EdBennett — Fri, 29 Jul 2022 23:38:24 +0000

30 Jul 2022 - 00:38 | Tags: understanding women, dirty talk, sex talk

We live in the liberated modern age of sexual enlightenment. Adult dating has become something that more and more people have embraced. We are more open to those who wish to have alternative arrangements and partnerships. This can be simple such as people who hook up or only have one night stands. This could be people who chose to have fuck buddies but od not want any of the strings that are usually attached to relationships. This could be the more classic friends with benefits set up or booty call buddy. However, the modern age has taken this even further. Non-monogamous long-term relationships have become more normal. “Polyamorous” is now an accepted and understood word in more parts and in more circles. People are finding their own way, working out what sexually works for them and setting up relationships that fit around those needs and desires. So, despite all of this, why is it that sex is harder to talk about in this era than previously?

Despite all of our progressive views and advancements in sexual structures, we still can feel uncomfortable around sex. Ironically some of this is actually to do with how we perceive things should be in the modern age! We think that we ought to be having an easy time talking about sex, whether that is with a friend or a fuck buddy, but we find it is not. This exacerbates the issue because there is a stark reality underneath this. Sex is unlikely to be something that will ever be something that is easy to talk about. It is difficult, we expose ourselves when we do so, we leave ourselves vulnerable when that occurs. The way sex functions is not always helpful, nice or kind. Sex can be hard, tough and unforgiving. The way that sex, the lack of it or the results of it can leave us feeling is not always pleasant… and because we live in a world and a society where we think that we should be able to talk about sex comfortably, it actually makes it worse! We feel worse and we put up more barriers because we, incorrectly, think it “ought” to be easy. Sometimes this means that we give up, it often means we hold back from our fuck buddies on this front.

So cut yourself a break and be kinder to yourself when you find it difficult. It is and always has been.

Create a safe space for dirty talk – it may lead to all sorts of dirty actions!

EdBennett — Thu, 12 May 2016 12:48:22 +0000

12 May 2016 - 13:48 | Tags: dirty talk, dirty texting

Dirty talk is something that different people are comfortable to such different extents. We all come from such varied backgrounds when it comes to this one matter of the bedroom. I know some people that love it. They talk dirty to their partner all the time, and they do so with great gusto and confidence. Often in these cases the partner more than willingly joins in and dirty talks back to them as well - and so they bounce off each other until they get so horney that before they know it they are bouncing on top of each other!

Other people come from a much more reserved and shy background. They are unused to talking dirty and so they approach it with much trepidation and fear. What if they say the wrong things? What if what they say turns the other person off, or insults them or makes you sound stupid in some way? We all have a front of sorts that we erect in front of the other person, a version of ourselves that we put up and portray. If we are having sex with that person then we know for sure that this version of ourselves is one that is attractive and much liked... why would we risk that by trying something that we have never done before, something that we are not very good at, and something that almost guaranteed that we will do badly to begin with until we get to the point of actually becoming good at it? This is the point that I would like to address in this article. The why.

Why do dirty talk despite any fear

The reason is because of where it might take you. We all have a lot of fear when it comes to sharing our innermost desires & wishes. We put ourselves on the line when it comes to being vulnerable with the other person and we leave ourselves open to having our hearts ripped out... so why do it? Well the answer is the reward. The gain.

Dirty talk can lead you from playfully saying the odd word or whispering the odd known desire, to whispering the unknown desires. Once you have shared and gotten used to saying what you want to do, what you are going to do that they are comfortable with, you can then step forward to saying the things that you want to do that perhaps you are unsure that they are going to be up for. You can start sharing the things you really really want to do but have never done before. When said in the setting of dirty talk they are more likely to be accepted and carried out.

So dirty talk, because you don’t know where that might lead you – and you might find that it leads you both to extremely exciting places!

With Sex - A simple grunt can mean a thousand things!

EdBennett — Sun, 06 Dec 2015 09:45:25 +0000

6 Dec 2015 - 09:45 | Tags: turn on techniques, dirty talk

When it comes to having sex here in the UK, we are a fairly reserved people. We have a bit of a history of not wanting to talk about sex, about it being a bit of a fo pa, and especially for women there was a concept that t enjoy sex was a negative thing. If you were a man and you slept with a lot of people you were a bit of a Cad or a rouge, if you were a girl and you slept with a lot of people you were a slut. This is something that I am glad is quickly being rooted out here in the UK, and the more time passes the more the truth becomes the normal attitude. Sex is normal, everyone has it, and everyone should enjoy it. It’s not a difficult concept – and by virtue of the fact you are reading this article on this site it is very likely that you are already aware of this – so apologies for preaching to the converted.

So when you finally make it to the bedroom – with the usual British stiff upper lip firmly in place on your face, you start to have sex with your partner. You want it to be good, both for you and for your partner. In the early days you are getting to know each other; you are learning each others likes and dislikes, the parts of their bodies that when stoked light them up like a fire fly, and the parts that gain a reaction similar to that of dropping a sexual-bucket-of-water on their heads. And all the time you are doing this, you are communicating through the language of... grunts?

Grunting in the bedroom is a time honoured tradition, and I am in no way knocking it... I am simply stating that it is a little bit of a clumsy form of communication. That trying to tell someone to slow down, or speed up through the form of a grunt is a little bit difficult to decipher, especially in the heat of the moment whilst wrapped up in the desire for the other person.

You are there – (s)he grunts... did that mean harder or softer? Faster or slower? (S)he likes it or hates it?

I have a suggestion for you – trying using words once in a while. You will both benefit from the additional meaning you will be able to convey from the switch in language.

Dirty Talk for bigger harder Orgasms

EdBennett — Wed, 28 Oct 2015 16:22:27 +0000

28 Oct 2015 - 16:22 | Tags: turn on techniques, how to have better orgasms, dirty talk

If you are really comfortable with dirty talking – skip this article now, I am preaching to the congregation. If you are not – read on, for your life may be on the moment of changing forever!

Dirty talk – it is something that most people are uncomfortable with. They are not used to doing it, it is not something that is taught in schools, you don’t get to practice it with your friends. Dirty talk comes natural to *no one*. Remember this. No one is naturally good at it – the only way is to practice a little, get it wrong sometimes, then improve over time.

So why bother you ask? Why make the effort to get good at something that is so outside of your comfort zone that it is almost painful to try to start with? Why push through the pain and possible embarrassment of saying words that have rarely left your mouth, and never in that order? Two words: Great Sex.

Higher Horney = Bigger Orgasms

The more turned on you are the bigger your orgasms get. The more you are crazy with lust at the moment of coming the hard you will come and more you catapult yourself into the nothing of ecstasy that you seek. So the more turned on you can get the better it is for you and your partner. So what is the solution to this problem of increasing how horny you and your partner are... DIRTY TALK!

Excitement happens in the mind. One of the things about excitement is that it is really similar to fear. Fear is excitement without the breath... so if the thought of dirty talk makes you nervous then great! It means that you are likely to be able to really benefit from the sex boost that it can provide.

Where to start

• Start simple. The easiest way to begin is to text your partner during the daytime that you are thinking about them, then build from there.
• Go first: Always be brave and go first. You have to be willing to make yourself vulnerable if you want the other person to match what you do. It is human instinct to reciprocate what one person does, so if you put yourself out there first – they will likely follow
• Say what you feel. The more congruent you are with what you say the easier it is to say it, so be brave and say what you actually feel / think
• Be bold and strong with the way you say it. If you say it with confidence you are going to be well received. If you are timid and nervous with the way you say it, it will be a lot less sexy.

When is the best time to start?

NOW! So get out there and start talking dirty.