F Buddy - pulling

It’s not what we are like, it is what we like.

EdBennett — Wed, 28 Mar 2018 17:02:26 +0000

28 Mar 2018 - 18:02 | Tags: hooking up, sexual connection, pulling

“It’s not you, it’s me.” I feel like all of us have heard that phrase at some point, either verbatim, or using different language but with the same sense behind it. Whether it comes from someone you had been sleeping with for years, or from someone who you only hooked up with the night before, it really doesn’t matter. The phrase sums up that they don’t want to see you again, and that will never be something that we want to hear from another person. We take it personally, it hurts.

When we first got together with that person, or get together with anyone for that matter, we think that we connect with the person because of who they are, because of the person that they are matches the person that we are. In this article, I would like to argue that this is simply not true. I will argue that it is more about what we like, than what we are like.

A short disclaimer:

This applies to everyone, regardless of the nature of the relationship. Whether you were getting together with someone for a long term monogamous relationship, or you were looking for a one time hook up, the same applies. That you became fuck buddies or friends with benefits does not matter, the seduction still happened on the same basis.

We learn who the person is through what they have done

As humans, we are storytellers. We learn all about people through the stories that they tell of their life. What they did, when they did it, how they reacted in certain situations. When they did or did not do certain things. We communicate through stories.

We look for similarities or shared ground

We are looking for someone that shares the same value system as us. For example, if you are looking for a long-term relationship and they are looking for a fuck buddy, there is no shared ground. You want different things. In our search for commonalities, we quickly latch on to things that the other person likes.

Shared likes

There is a moment when you realise that the person likes the same music as you. You have found a shared point of conversation. If you watched the same television as a kid, even better! You now are talking about the same things from your memories of youth. This is where people connect when they first hook up, this is where the foundation for a friends with benefits set up begins. Not what you are like, but what you like. If you liked the same things, there is instant connection.

I think that partnerships last because of what you are like, but hookups happen when you find you lik

Getting laid at conventions

EdBennett — Fri, 30 Jun 2017 08:03:58 +0000

30 Jun 2017 - 09:03 | Tags: getting laid, pulling, getting sex

The world of conventions is both niche and vast! I am completely new to them, and have only just attended my first ever convention this month. They are filled with activities, talks, opportunities to bag yourself some free stuff... all of which are great if you are interested in the subject. If you are not interested in the conventions theme in some way, you are going to hate it. Don’t go.

Like any large gathering there are of course going to be women there! You may find that the ratio of men to women is somewhat uneven, however there are girls. So if you go to a convention and want to get laid, what are the ways of increasing your chances of doing this?

Get there on time or even early

When people first arrive they don’t know anyone. They are excited to be there so their emotions are heightened, and they have yet to meet new interesting people or align themselves with any particular group or clique. This is the perfect time to say hello. They will want to meet you, want to enthuse about being there, and this makes forming connection super easy because the emotion is already heightened, and they are going to do most of the work for you. So get there early, and get meeting people.

Stay in the same hotel

Conventions seem to generally run in hotels, and there is usually accommodation in the actual hotel for guests as well as the people running the sessions. Logistics can be the difference between getting laid, and not getting laid, so do your groundwork and make sure that you have somewhere to stay preferably on location, if not as close as possible. To clarify, you need somewhere private to drag your lovely pretty thing once you have found them.

Attend the Adult sessions

There are sometimes “adult” themed sessions later in the evening where you can getan intro into something kinky, learn a little rope play, or something of that nature. Go to these sessions, if there is someone single there, they are perfect and want sex. A good example is there is usually some kind of shibari or rope play workshop. If you turn up with your own rope thus showing you know what you are doing, you will be more attractive!

Get a costume

A great costume is an easy way to buy status in that environment as well as make friends. It works as a great opener as you will find that girls are coming up and talking to you, making the whole thing much easier.

If you have never been to a convention, I highly recommend them. Geeky girls make great bed fellows!

Pulling a girl when clubbing

EdBennett — Fri, 12 May 2017 19:10:54 +0000

12 May 2017 - 20:10 | Tags: strip clubs, pulling, how to get laid

If you are out for a night out and you are single, you are probably really up for getting laid on that night out if you can make it happen. I am not saying that it is the focus of your night, I am not saying that you wouldn’t have a good time if you didn’t sleep with someone at the end of it (or even during it for that matter!). What I am saying is that it usually adds to an evening if you get laid whilst out. A good night is a good story, and that always makes it a better story – besides is there any high greater than that of having sex? The very survival of our very species depends on us being addicted to that high! Naturally it is one of the best feelings that we can experience. So if you are on a night out clubbing, how do you pull?

Pub rules are all out

The usual rules of pulling in a pub are all out of the window. Usually in a pub you would make eye contact, go and start a conversation in some way, do a little playful back and forth, a little pushing them away and pulling them in, start touching them on the arm or the lower back more and more until eventually you kiss them. This is a long tried and tested sequence. In a club all of this goes out of the window for one reason – the noise.

The noise kills all other approached

Any approach that you may have had from when you were at a party or in a pub go out the window when you have no way of being heard. Trying to use language or even speaking is just hard work, and the other person has no reason to try and listen to you at that point, they have no idea who you are so there is no reason for them to try and hear you! So give up on this.

Go physical

The only way to pull in a club is to go super physical. Make eye contact strong and early, then confidently more straight in by dancing with them physically, escalate the physical contact quickly, then pull them in and kiss them. Done. There is no other approach that you can take! The noise kills any other option, so don’t even bother trying anything else but this!

Keep it clean – to make things dirty!

EdBennett — Sat, 28 May 2016 09:53:29 +0000

28 May 2016 - 10:53 | Tags: guys not getting the casual sex is their own fault, pulling, sex stories

So you have had a really good night out. You went out with some mates for a few drinks after work. It was going to be one of those quick spontaneous after work drinks – but it quickly turns into one of those nights when nothing really happens but everything goes down. One drink turned into two turned into going to another bar in the area. This became a random encounter with a group of the opposite sex also on a night out, groups merged and suddenly you find yourself talking to someone that actually you really quite fancy. You are not sure how much of that is the alcohol talking and how much is that you really do like them, hard to tell as you are already feeling rather tipsy and you know it, but by this stage you really don’t care any more... so you go and order a round of Tequila shots (because they make you happy) and you decide not to worry too much about it.

The next thing you know you are stumbling into a club with a girl on either arm and your mates behind you. How you grew from a group of 5 guys to suddenly there being 12 of you and a hen do in tow you have no idea, but it is all going swimmingly and you are not going to question your good luck!

You are now stumbling towards the kabab place, the young blond thing that you really liked from the start in that first pub is suddenly somehow under your arm. You are pretty sure that you kissed her earlier – at least you hope it was her. You certainly kissed someone – there is lipstick on your collar!

You fumble for the keys whilst the cute blond girl giggles as she hangs off your arm in anticipation. You both know where this is going and you are both about to win here...

...and that’s when it goes wrong. You take her into your place, to your room, and the place is a tip. Clothes are stewn all over the floor, old pizza boxes are piled in a corner, a mound of glasses and mugs where you haven’t gotten around to washing them in the kitchen yet are piled high on the bedside table, and there is a funny smell in the air from something growing somewhere. You see the look of disgust on her face and thats when you know your night of unstoppable power has just ended.

Keep your room clean guys, because without it being clean to begin with, you will never have the chance to make it dirty.