Being alone for a time can be great to unleash your sexual self

EdBennett — Mon, 21 Mar 2022 23:27:45 +0000

21 Mar 2022 - 23:27 | Tags: no sex please we are British, no sex

Everyone has times or periods where they have nothing going on in terms of relationships. Sometimes it rains and sometimes there is a drought. It is just the way that things are. There is nothing wrong with this and I think it is really important to acknowledge that this is the way of the world. If you speak to people in relationships the same is true! Just because they are in a relationship doesn’t mean they don’t have dry spells. In some ways it is harder to break because in a traditional monogamous relationship there is only one person that you can sleep with, so if that person is uninterested for any reason then you can’t just go elsewhere to lower hanging fruit, you have to try and make it work with them. This can be a real uphill struggle and one that I am glad I do not have to try and contend with! Much easier to just find someone new. So, if you have had a period of nothing remember that (i) this is natural and that (ii) there are some benefits to it as well! Allow me to expand.

The mental gain

When we are with someone, or in the hamster wheel of one person to the next, we don’t get time to take stock. We are too busy moving to the next thing that it doesn’t happen. However, when we are alone for a time, whether by choice or circumstance, we have that opportunity to reflect. Think of this like a leaky bucket. We are constantly putting more liquids into our leaky bucket in the form or stimulus, experience, girlfriends, boyfriends, conversations, emotions… we keep pilling it up. The whole time the leaky bucket is trying to be empty so that it can show you what it has hidden at the bottom, it is trying to help us… but we do not let it. We just keep filling it and filling it. However, when we stop dating for a while, we reduce what is going into the bucket, and if we are lucky, we are now putting in less than is leaking out. After some time, the water level goes low enough that we can start to glimpse what is on the bottom. For those brave enough, we let it drain all the way and then we can really see who we are without the influence and distortion that comes from having someone else in our lives.

From there we can remember who we are, what our values are, and we can return to the dating world a bigger, better and badder us.

No sex please we are British – get over it

EdBennett — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 19:57:12 +0000

20 Dec 2016 - 19:57 | Tags: no sex please we are British, British sex advice, sex for brits

Here in the UK we are a little bit uptight about sex. The whole “no sex please we are British” thing is something of a joke, but the roots where it came from still seem to very much be in place. We don’t like to talk about sex openly, it is seen as crass and rude to do so, and there is an underlying attitude that sex is not something that one should be actively seeking. We see it as a dirty secret to be brushed under the carpet, something to be done on the quiet and to never be mentioned. The truth is far from this.

Sex is a normal part of human existence

There are lots of things that we need to survive as humans, and right now I am talking about the base fundimentals that literally sustain our existence:

Water
Air
Food
Shelter
Clothes

I want to take this right back to the basics here – to the fundamentals of life. These are the things that keep us breathing. When we then zoom out from us as individuals and look at us from the point of view of a race, the human race as a species, several other things come into play. One that cannot be ignored nor denied is that of sex. If as a species we stopped having sex, we would be wipped from the planet earth in the space of a generation. The last human would be the one to outlive the rest. We need sex to exist, we need it to continue as a species. Without it we are fucked – or should I say without fucking we are fucked! The old testament bible literally tells us that God commands that we “go forth and multiple” – the act of sex is hard coded into who we are!

So why is that we don’t talk about it?

When we moved into being more or a farming community, and away from being nomadic tribes, things changed. Coupling became more about the exchange and control of land and wealth. If you married someone then you shared al your assets. This meant that monogamy was a must, you were passing wealth down, you wanted it to go to your own kids. So it was that monogamy was to be enforced, and since there was no contraception, having sex easily become branded a bad thing, thus the first “slut” was born.

Times have changed, so let’s get over it

Not only are condoms plentiful and easy to get hold of, there is even now a range of options to prevent accidental child birth. So it is time we got over it and moved with the times.

Sex is a great thing, for all sorts of reasons, so let’s stop being so archaic and start celebrating people who are having it, rather than having a go at them.

F Buddy - no sex please we are British

Being alone for a time can be great to unleash your sexual self

The mental gain

No sex please we are British – get over it