Better Sex Guide: Always assume that the other person loved the sex

EdBennett — Fri, 12 Aug 2016 17:51:30 +0000

12 Aug 2016 - 18:51 | Tags: better sex guide, better in bed for men, sex tips

When we have sex, regardless of how enlightened we are about the act, how rounded a view we take on it and how much we come to understand that it is more than just about coming – some part of us checks in on whether the other person has come or not. We also care about whether the other person has a good time – which is what this check in is rooted in. Again, only the most selfish sell centred (to the point of genuine medically diagnosable social issues) ignore whether the other person has enjoyed themselves – and infact our own enjoyment of the sex is tied into this. If the other person has had a good time then we do too. No matter how good the sex feels – if you glance up from your near orgasm extasy to see the other person’s face – and they look bored – this is a guaranteed mood killer. Why does it kill it? It ends our pleasure because our joy is tied into whether they are enjoying it.

The Ego

This is all tied into the ego. Sex isn’t just about how it physically feels – it is also about how it emotionally feels. There is no removing that, and frankly why would you want to, I mean it is part of what makes sex awesome. We want the other person to want us, not to want anyone, us. It is about you wanting to feel special, you wanting to know that they want YOU over anyone else that they could have had... and this is where it ties in. If they love it, then they want you. If they have a shit time then they may as well have slept with any one else. You are not special.

The dangerous cycle

If you think that they are having a shit time, then this makes you turned off. You are less likely to orgasm, and you are certainly not going to have a very good time. The danger is that they then look at you having a crap time – and this in turn makes them have a crap time! Isn’t it amazing – it feeds back into itself! See the same is true for them, they want to feel like they please, that you want *them* over other people. So how do you avoid this cycle?

Assume they love it

You can’t ignore reality for long, and you don’t want to. There is a grey area though, and when you first sleep with someone it is unlikely to be mind blowing because you are new to each other. So avoid this cycle by assuming that they had a good time. Don’t question it, don’t ask, just assume it. As you get to know each other better you will change how you fuck each other till it is amazing, but until then just trust that they like it, and that they like YOU. That is the most important part.

So when you get a new fuck buddy, just trust in yourself. You are awesome in the sack. You are. Trust me.

What Men Want In Bed

jeni — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 08:00:00 +0000

3 Jun 2013 - 09:00 | Tags: better in bed for men, what men want in bed

There are literally hundreds of articles both online and off about what women want in the bedroom. Yet there is next to nothing about what men want in the bedroom. Does this mean that men don’t care about what they want as long as they’re getting laid? Not at all. We went on a bit of a mission to try and redress this balance and conducted a survey on 100 men to get their opinion on what does it for them in the bedroom.

So what makes sex hot for a guy?

“Desire. The feeling that she wants it just as much as I do makes it amazing. After that it doesn’t really matter what we do in the bedroom as whatever we do, the sex is great!”
Paul, 36, IT Engineer

Paul’s testimony seems to be reflected by a number of other guys we surveyed as well.

“The biggest turn off for me is when my girlfriend considers sex a chore – like it’s a domestic task she has to deal with and get out of the way. That just makes me frustrated and not interested in sleeping with her at all.”
Alistair, 32, Personal Trainer

The general consensus we got back from the survey was that men generally want to feel that the woman wants sex more then they do. Desire appears to be more prevalent in their minds then anything else. Yet that can’t be the whole truth can it? Surely men want women to do certain things in the bedroom that turn them on?

“Enthusiasm and willingness to try different things always does it for me. I went out with one girl who wanted to always turn the lights off when having sex and would rarely want to do it during the day. I didn’t date her for very long. Then I went out with a girl who was constantly delighted when I suggested a new position or asked if I could tie her up! She loved trying new things and that just made me even hornier. I then figured out what it was about her that just made me want to shag her all the time – enthusiasm! She was so happy and ready to try all sorts that it just always put a big grin on my face. It made me feel needed and that was awesome!”
John, 27, Production Manager

John liked it when the girl was willing to experiment and try lots of different things, but again you’ll notice that he mentions the word ‘enthusiasm’ several times. Again this ‘need’ or ‘desire’ that the girl wants the man just as much as he wants her seems to be the number one priority for good sex.

So ladies, if you’re reading this right now and you’re looking to get a new fuck buddy or simply spice things up with a current one; desire is crucial. Want sex and the guy just as much as the guy wants you and you’ll most likely find yourself with a one way ticket to pleasure land.

F Buddy - better in bed for men

Better Sex Guide: Always assume that the other person loved the sex

What Men Want In Bed