We received quite a long email from a member of f-buddy recently that she gave permission for us to share on the site with you. The reason we wanted to share it is because it serves as a valid reminder as to the pros and cons of casual sex and when to continue or call it quits.
As such we’re now turning over the rest of this post to Clara, a 30 year old woman who works in the city. All names (including the author’s) in this story have been changed at the request of the author to protect and respect people’s right to privacy.
“Sex is one of those things that none of us can do without in order to maintain a healthy life. I’ve always believed that anyone who denies themselves this most basic of human instincts is damaging both their physical and mental health. As such I have always tried to maintain a healthy sex life in or out of a committed relationship.
However I did recently learn both the joy and the dangers casual sex can bring.
I broke up with my boyfriend Gareth about a year ago now and I remember for the first few weeks how lonely I felt. Even though I knew it was the right thing to do (Gareth had become a miserable depressed pig who was controlling and always brought me down), I missed him. Later I realised it wasn’t him I missed – it was the warmth and feeling of being with someone and having another body next to mine in the bedroom.
About a month after I’d split up with Gareth I signed up to f-buddy, not because I wanted to get into another relationship but because a friend suggested I should probably just have some fun and sleep around a bit. I met a guy off here called Harry. He was the complete opposite to what Gareth was – funny, kind, caring and one hell of a lover in the bedroom. On the first date we met we both agreed that it was going to be nothing more then fun and casual. He said he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend and as of right then he was only sleeping with me, but that it was highly possible that he would be with someone else soon as well. I said something similar to him and we carried on.
The sex was fantastic, and at first all I could see were the pros. It was not making me act like I usually did and I had no longing for him whatsoever when we weren’t together.
Everything was fine for about two months until one night we were having dinner and I realised that I had become a hypocrite. All those times I had told my friends off for fucking around with different guys just for fun, and now here I was doing exactly the same thing and loving it. Also I realised I was still missing Gareth, even though I knew he was an arrogant twat and totally wrong for me.
I told all of this to Harry over dinner and said that everything was great but what if I wanted more from then just sex in the future. He said it was fine and he understood, but that right now he didn’t want anything more and that as we had such good chemistry and were having fun, why spoil it?
The strange thing is, I knew he was right. I just couldn’t bring myself to carry on with him whilst I was feeling that way. So I thanked him for all the fun nights and wished him luck with his search. He smiled, gave me a hug and said that he understood.
I never saw him again and to this day, a part of me is still kicking herself for ending things prematurely with him. But the other part is glad I did. I just wanted a warm body next to mine. And that was when I learned why casual sex can be great and a curse at the same time.
My advice to all of you on this site is that as long as you remember that you’re in it just for the short term, and don’t think ahead too much then you can’t really go wrong. Also if you have just come out of a long term relationship, be cautious before plunging into casual sex. It can be great, but it can also bring up a lot of feelings that affect any casual sex you have.”
The team at f-buddy would like to thank Clara for allowing us to share her story. If you have a casual sex story you would like to share with us that you think would benefit other members of the site, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.
Happy fucking!
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